children are apt to forget to remember

2003-05-24T04:26:00.000-04:00

i got a livejournal. i'll miss this place.

2003-05-19T04:19:00.000-04:00

here i am, back to my ann arbor hours.
--for old times' sake:
the friday five

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
bottle, i suppose. anything that is cold and refreshing, really.

2. What are your favorite flavor of chips?
original pringles.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
i make good bread pudding.

4. How do you have your eggs?
not really an eggs fan, but when i forget that i don't like eggs, i have them hard-boiled and eat them with a spoon and a salt shaker.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?
my dad made me fish sticks and curly fries tonight. they were good, but a bit too filling.

2003-05-17T03:11:00.000-04:00

postings are few and far between.
my birthday is fast approaching..."the big 1-8." still settling back into the work lifestyle. hope to hit up a few garage sales tomorrow if proex doesn't want me.

2003-05-08T14:33:00.000-04:00

haven't posted in a looooong time.
cleaning the new room very very thoroughly.
waking up and missing the morning entirely.
procrastinating with the job search, dreading another summer at tj maxx.
eating less.
trying to avoid the soccer moms.
wishing i were having as much fun as you, and simultantously reminding myself that others have it worse.

2003-04-23T04:05:00.000-04:00

"i often wonder whatever happened to that little girl i used to know."
maybe she's back.

2003-04-23T03:24:00.000-04:00

i do.

2003-04-23T01:48:00.000-04:00

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

2003-04-22T14:29:00.000-04:00

sometimes it seems the end can't come soon enough.

2003-04-21T23:58:00.000-04:00

not so much friday, as it is five.

the friday five

1. Who is your favorite celebrity?
umm. christina ricci. rachel griffiths. courtney love. mr rogers. isaac mizrahi. conan o'brien. the cusacks. probably more.

2. Who is your least favorite?
teen pop stars. the cast of the real world. people that make you wonder why they are famous.

3. Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life?
james taylor. the kid who played the youngest brady son in the movies. roz abrams.

4. Would you want to be famous? Why or why not?
it's cool to be acknowledged, but given the option, i would rather be rich and unrecognizable.

5. If you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why?
julia stiles. it'd be cool to get into an ivy league school just because i was famous. plus, i would get to live in nyc.

i had a dream last night about the end-of-the-year surprises from our RAs. guess what i just got.

2003-04-21T01:46:00.000-04:00

i've gotten a lot done in the 9.5 hours i've been awake. too bad i am a little tired now.

ps. i don't like what you did to my pants, freddy krueger.

2003-04-20T03:20:00.000-04:00

i knew i was arial! (but i secretly wanted something more exotic)

Arial - You're pretty normal. That's certainly not
a bad thing, as a lot of people like you.

What Font Are You? (Standard Fonts)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-18T21:25:00.000-04:00

so right now i am addicted to www.hotornot.com. i went through the same phase 2 years ago, just because i always like to see what picture will come up next. i give most people 5s (some as a favor and some because they are too stereotypically hot). korinne and i have decided that it is easier to be an ugly guy than an ugly girl and www.hotornot.com is proof. for my friends out there interested in attaining high marks in the online rating category, i have some tips for scoring with the judges.
guys:
-don't wear a shirt. no matter what your body type, guys with no shirts get high points.
-if you decide to wear a shirt, make sure there is something funny about beer or sex written on it. now that's hot.
-show them your serious and your playful sides.
-pose with your kids. ladies love a family man.
-black and white photos show how artsy you can be.
-photoshop is hot.
-really creepy guys: also hot.
-and most importantly, don't mask the real you.
-basically, boys, don't put any effort into this. you can even submit a picture where your friends are much hotter than you, and still do well. and if you do decide to make an effort, you will also do well. nobody loses in this situation. well, almost nobody.
this brings me to

girls:
-make sure you are a model. or at least pay someone a lot of money to take pictures that are of modeling quality.
-don't pose with your friends. whether they are cuter than you, or not cute at all, you lose.
-don't pose with your kids, either. teenage moms are not hot.
-send in a blurry picture.
-never look as if you are thinking. i think we all know girls that think are not hot.
-wearing glasses is asking for a 5.1 or lower. say it girls, "ac-u-vue." unless they are sunglasses, because those are definitely hot.
-make yourself as little like your childhood photos as possible. nobody likes brown hair and bushy eyebrows, do they?
-much like the guys, you can be of any age. you will still somehow get higher points than the asians.
-the most important rule for the ladies is this: be trashy. really, really trashy.

lather, rinse, and repeat as necessary.

2003-04-18T17:52:00.000-04:00

with my next final on wednesday, i have free time coming out the wazoo.

you are Haribo Gold-Bears!
**GUMMY BEARS! my favorite

which Haribo candy are you?? ^^
brought to you by Quizilla

i like gummi bears.

2003-04-18T03:37:00.000-04:00

i talked to my sister on the phone for over an hour today. it's eerie how well people can know you.

2003-04-17T16:41:00.000-04:00

i don't even know what's going on.

2003-04-16T03:35:00.000-04:00

last class in less than 12 hours. i think i liked this semester.

2003-04-15T11:04:00.000-04:00

i just awoke (for the nth time) from some of the most unpeaceful rest of my life. nightmares of death and porn, combined with high-speed chases through forests...the imagination was definitely working hard. maybe i'll try to be more tired next time i go to bed.

it's so warm outside that i can smell it. i don't know how to describe the feeling, but i like it. did i mention i have a paper to write?

2003-04-14T18:43:00.000-04:00

today was so pretty.

2003-04-13T03:55:00.000-04:00

ummmm....

Don't Ask me! I'm just a GIRL!

HOW BILL GATES ARE YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

by the way, friday five was lame this week so i temporarily boycotted it. actually it wasn't bad, but i wasn't in a friday five mood.

2003-04-11T03:52:00.000-04:00

i was going to do the friday five now to distract myself, but i am not feeling up to it.

2003-04-10T18:45:00.000-04:00

roommates are supposed to be a means of making your life easier. unfortunately, things have worked out the opposite way. i really want to go home.

2003-04-10T15:44:00.000-04:00

not sure how i feel about this: my computer's spell check does not have a problem with starbucks.

2003-04-09T20:26:00.000-04:00

greatest conversation ever:
some kid: is [insert skanky roommate here] around?
me: nope.
some kid: damn it.
me: what did you need?
some kid: i need to know what kind of condoms to get. i figured she'd probably know.

haha, can we talk about reputations?

2003-04-09T19:43:00.000-04:00

Skunk with Coca Cola tin on head causes traffic problems

this would have been amazing to see!
-------------------------------------------------------
Guess the Brand Name

this is a fun game, but i am stuck on z. if anyone gets it, let me know.

2003-04-08T15:37:00.000-04:00

six
when i was six years old, i thought i had found my favorite number.

it was 6.
i was 6.
june (my birth month) was 6.
esther had 6 letters in it.
plus, it's a fun word to say.

that was almost good enough, but i became incredibly disheartened when i realized that e was the 5th letter of the alphabet. maybe this is why i don't have a favorite number now. but if anyone asks, it's 6.

2003-04-07T21:48:00.000-04:00

i like that my keys make sparks when they go into locks.

2003-04-07T18:29:00.000-04:00

sometimes i like being a drifter, and at other times i wish i had more friends. or more something.

2003-04-07T18:07:00.000-04:00

i was just working on the assessments that tell us how much the kids have improved and Emmanuel's results are in:
(A = good, D = ok, NY = not good)

Fall- 5A, 9D, 9NY, and knew 2 sight words
Spring- 14A, 5D, 1NY, and knew 21 sight words!

i am so proud of him...i want to keep him forever in my pocket or something. i just want all of this to mean as much to him as it does to me...it almost makes me want to tutor the kids next year. i have inspired myself, in some way. despite the snow, this has been a truly amazing day.

2003-04-07T00:58:00.000-04:00

two dreams in one week where my teeth fall out...what's going on?

"Teeth represent the very roots of the self, and the values and personal priorities that are involved in our decisions. Dreams of tooth loss often occur when a compromise is made (even for good reasons) which undermines the self in an ongoing way. The very "you" of you becomes eroded. Frequently something taken on as a temporary measure becomes more permanent and is not a good fit. Then we "forget" that we never intended to live this way permanently. We focus on making the self accommodate the situation. The friction between the arrangement and the self threatens to crumble the irreplaceable parts of the self. The compromise isn't necessarily wrong, but the harmful aspects of it need to be evaluated with clear understanding, and long-term options reviewed." dream interp. website

2003-04-06T16:53:00.000-04:00

i always liked lydia.
You're Lydia, gothy in a goody-goody sorta way, you
hate your stepmother and enjoy photography.
Depression rules your life, and you thrive for
death.

Which Beetlejuice character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-06T16:39:00.000-04:00

------------RIGHT NOW------------
* Wearing: pajama pants and a zip-up sweater
* I'm feeling: a little confused
* Eating: nothing

* Drinking: i'm thirsty
* Thinking about: you
* Listening to: the white stripes
* Talking to: no one

------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------
* Cried: where are those tear ducts...
* Worn a skirt: nope
* Met someone new: probably
* Cleaned your room: not as much as i should
* Done laundry: no
* Driven a car: haha

------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------
* Yourself: not as much as i should.
* Your friends: yes
* Santa Claus: he's from finland.
* Tooth Fairy: she's a busy lady.
* Angels: sure.
* Ghosts: sure.
* UFO's : sure.

------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------
* Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: yes.
* Like anyone?: look up.
* Who have you known the longest of your friends: Sofia.
* When you cried the most: can't remember.
* What’s the best feeling in the world: appreciation.
* Worst Feeling: feeling alone.
* Who sent this to you: found it in a livejournal somewhere.

FIRST THING THAT POPS IN YOUR HEAD
a - argonaut
b - broken glass
c - cap
d - dutch door
e - everybody
f - swift
g - gruesome
h - hale
i - imagination
j - jelly
k - kite
l – lamb
m - milk
n - neck
o - oval
p - peasant
q - quail
r - raisin
s - skydive
t - teacup
u - under
v - vicious
w - water
x - xenon
y - yard sale
z - cymbals

*Unfavorites*
[bands] r&b groups
[subject] econ
[food] cooked celery (in soups and stuff)
[color] "baby blue"- both the color and the name

*this or that*
[boxers or briefs?] boxer briefs...
[plaid or striped?] plaid
[scream or scream2 or scream3?] scream35
[ska or punk?] punk
[salt or pepper?] pepper
[okay, ok, or o.k.?] ok
[bright colors or dark colors?] dark
[tic-tacs or certs?] tic-tacs
[sunshine or rain?] sunshine in the day, rain at night
[rain or snow?] summer thunderstorm.
[sun or moon?] either.
[silver or gold?] silver.
[silk, cotton, or flannel sheets?] cotton.
[preps or freaks?] freaks.
[popcorn-with or w/out butter?] with butter and salt. what a heart attack waiting to happen.
[ketchup, mayo, mustard, or relish?] ketchup and mustard. what a cute couple.
[shampoo+conditioner in one or separate?] definitely separate. i don't always like conditioner.

*if you were _______, what would you be?*
[an animal] tropical fish.
[a fruit] papaya.
[a vegetable] corn on the cob.
[a color] black.
[a bug] dragonfly.

*short answer*
[are you smart?] smart enough for what?
[do you like onions?] no.
[what instruments can you play?] i used to play violin and cello.
[what words do you overuse?] i'm tired.
[do you like to fingerpaint?] yeah, such a funny feeling. so much art in your fingers.
[do you sleep with socks on?] yeah, or else i freeeze.
[are you ticklish?] no? :)
[are you shy?] usually.
[do you talk to your yep. pretended to be a schizo during math today to get on the substitute's nerves] that's not a real sentence.
[is your house 1, 2, or 3 stories] two.
[do you have a basement or an attic?] wouldn't say so.
[did you go to preschool?] yes, but it was called playschool.
[are you a morning person?] i wake up at times too late to constitute "morning."
[whats your purity test score?] something like 71%

*hard questions*
[would you rather burn to death or freeze to death?] burn. smoke inhalation gets you first.
[are the best things in life free?] free but priceless.
[can money buy happiness?] i don't believe so.
[if you had to dye your hair right now, what color would you make it?] dark brown or black.
[if you had to get a body piercing right now where would it be?] don't know.
[if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would it be?] something on the inside of my wrist.

these things are so strange.

2003-04-05T18:55:00.000-05:00

i don't really understand what this has to do with skittles.

You are a RED Skittle. You love to be around other
people, but sometimes you think you don't have
anything to distinguish you from those around
you. Others see you as unique and fun-loving,
but you see yourself as just an average person.
You are very humble in your talents.

Which color Skittle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-05T16:44:00.000-05:00

sorry about the changes all the time, i am just trying to customize this thing. the last template reminded me too much of a finnish grocery store.

2003-04-05T15:31:00.000-05:00

ok, i know it's saturday, but here it is, anyway:

the friday five

1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
12?

2. Which was your favorite and why?
either 6 roger ave or 18 griffing; i had my own room in each.

3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
stressful. i think it gets old, after a while. i have had emotional breakdowns the last 2 times we have moved, due to stress.

4. What's more important, location or price?
live where you feel comfortable.

5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
lots of little rooms. everyone has their own space.

2003-04-03T15:16:00.000-05:00

i am so bored. i would take a nap before english, but it wouldn't be very long.

2003-04-03T14:43:00.000-05:00

wasting time before english...

Clarissa Explains it All. Little brothers piss you
off and your best friend climbs up a ladder...
But of course that's not weird to you because
you're Clarissa Darling

What's Your 90's Nickelodeon Show?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-04-03T14:32:00.000-05:00

poor kid.

there are a few things i want to talk about:

1. if the kid is dying, these are his final wishes. consider this his way of taking "make a wish" into his own hands. initiative like this is commendable.
2. this happened less than a quarter of a mile from where i am sitting. in fact, i can see the children's hospital right now, across the street.
3. crafty young fellow.

2003-04-01T19:29:00.000-05:00

a good game to play is "would you rather...?" korinne and i have had some truly entertaining rounds. we should really work for milton and bradley, with all the games we play.

2003-04-01T19:11:00.000-05:00

i think i have this thing sorted out. i think.

2003-03-31T04:14:00.000-05:00

my econ instructor, songook, spells "quiz" with two z's; that makes me smile.

2003-03-30T23:16:00.000-05:00

i don't like sundays. i never have.

2003-03-30T03:24:00.000-05:00

hoods are nice for when you don't want wind in your ears.

2003-03-29T18:31:00.000-05:00

i still don't know how i feel about the rain yesterday. sure, it was a nuisance, but sometimes it's exhilirating to have something over which you have no control. it makes you realize how little you are.

it's a shame that the bad days and the great days have to fall so closely together, that something can be going so well, and then you end up making a mess. sometimes it's just so easy to be selfish, without even realizing it. damn.

2003-03-28T17:00:00.000-05:00

the friday five

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?
last night's phone call.

2. What one person touched your life this week?
matt.

3. How have you helped someone this week?
i gave jenna some food when her picnic was lacking.

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
understand some econ, add money to my entree plus account, make sure my relatives don't think i am ignoring them, pay my school for letting me learn here, start packing...wait, only one thing?

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
smile, let the world know that i am happy to be alive.

2003-03-27T16:00:00.000-05:00

ok, so when i said i was waking up late, i didn't expect to be knocked out until 3:30 pm. i missed lunch entirely.

some dreams:
1. it is christmas eve, and someone in my family is having a giant party. everyone from school is invited, no matter where they live. my sister somehow offends korinne's roommate. dave miller announces that he has been chosen as the 3rd most eligible bachelor in our town (apprently in my dream, we live in the same town). then we talk about how he has been in the newspaper before, once for being #1 on the most eligible list a few years back, and then once for being a bobsled champion. somehow this whole sequence ends in me shoveling snow off of stop signs and traffic lights to prevent accidents, and almost getting hit by a minivan. i never liked minivans.

2. i am correcting the paper of a kid in my english class, and because i have corrected the same paper before, i find myself improving on my corrections. marika, my english gsi, then has a conference with joel on what seems to be a stage in front of many people. his friends are in the front row. she tells him of the new corrections, and he gets angry and storms off. his friends act much cooler about their conferences, and then i find out they are in a band. at this point, i seem to not be in human form anymore, just an observer. i am in the limo with the band, and someone is interviewing them (it might be me). a question is posed to the female member of the group, asking her about drug use. she is about to answer, but then a bandmate hands her 2 flat pieces of glass stuck together. between them is a tiny dried pot plant. the structure of it is beautiful. eventually, we are all on the side of the road, next to a stream, and the plant is miraculously growing on the other side of that stream. everyone is really proud.

i guess this is what 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep will do to you.

2003-03-27T00:20:00.000-05:00

that was just what i needed. that, and some theraflu.

2003-03-23T17:59:00.000-05:00

i guess not everyone likes amelie as much as i think they should, so i changed my buddy icon. i hope you don't have a problem with bjork, elissa.

2003-03-23T16:07:00.000-05:00

strange dream last night:
me, my mom, and my sister (either her or elissa) were at some sailing contest, and the winner was to be awarded this giant sailboat; it was glorious. the trailer for the boat was huge, bigger than anything that could ever be dragged behind a car. suddenly, there was torrential downpour, and an instantaneous flood of water and darkness. there was no way we could control our movement, and as the giant trailer was about to fall over onto us, emily/elissa asked why the trailer had to be there, and i explained that the lucky recipient would need a way to get the sailboat home. fighting against the currents in the deep floodwater, my mom led us all into a cement building with a structure resembling an adobe house in santa fe or something. i screamed for my mother, knowing i was going to die that night, as my head would likely be forced against the cement wall or i would drown in the midst of all the others; i knew there would be no survivors. just as my head was about to smack against the wall, i woke up in a strange feeling of peacefulness.
i think that might be what it feels to die, the same way it feels when you wake up from a dream. sometimes i think that every dream is just another life you lead; one of my lives ended last night. as nonsensical as they may seem, dreams open your mind to so much. i used to not have dreams for about a year, but i don't really remember that time very well.

2003-03-21T20:34:00.000-05:00

the friday five
1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be?
me as a child.

2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?
1800s - i don't really know much about them, but time travel would be one way to learn

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?
amsterdam, chicago, belgium.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?
marla singer

5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?
shannyn sossamon

2003-03-21T19:46:00.000-05:00

i just finished watching donnie darko. i wasn't really creeped out, like i thought i would be. i want to watch it again. in the mean time...

Which Donnie Darko character are you? by Shay

2003-03-20T17:38:00.000-05:00

this has to be the right school for me. not only does marika hold english class outside because the weather is so nice, but we are encouraged to go check out the anti-war rally. i honestly respect a teacher that questions her own lesson plans in the face of times like these. all the people at the rally were so passionate, it was amazing. it's nice to know that people care so much.

2003-03-19T04:23:00.000-05:00

i like that march comes in like a lion, and goes out like a lamb.

2003-03-17T12:59:00.000-05:00

what a surprise, the quiz told me i am indecisive. makes sense, seeing as i have never been able to decide whether i am an optimist or pessimist.

Neutral:
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-03-17T02:59:00.000-05:00

sofia, remember in 6th grade when you danced with ronnie inconstanti and didn't wash the shirt you were wearing that night because it had the smell of him on it?

2003-03-16T01:41:00.000-05:00

today has been a great day.

9 hours of sleep, woke up at 1 pm
lunch
six feet under
warm weather reminded me of why i love ann arbor
shopping (bought shoes), picked up work applications
bonded with elissa
refreshing spring salad, more six feet under with the window open
window shopping, espresso royale cafe
groceries
dark cool damp walk home
felt like a grown-up unlocking my room door with my other arm carrying a grocery bag
trainspotting and peach iced tea
nap
study

the highlights of the day were the weather and the unlocking the door thing. it was amazing to see the town alive; it made me feel alive. spring has sprung. i liked the feeling that i got outside of my room, because it's the same feeling i get when i eat chinese food out of the box with chopsticks on the floor; i am just so comfortable and i have great confidence in myself. i only wish there was one more person that could be here to share in all this with me, but if tonight's routine is the same as the others, i will be content. this will have been an excellent day, one of my best in a while. i feel like today was made for me.

2003-03-13T03:37:00.000-05:00

so my day wasn't great for the most part, but then it turned out pretty ok. i can't decide whether i would like it more if i had all my midterms at the same time, or to have it as i do now: midterms all semester. i just can never really find time to relax. only 5 more weeks, 5 more weeks.

Frodo

Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

i was never a big elijah wood fan as a child, but i think that's because he looked like our brat neighbor. he has grown on me recently, maybe because of his lookalike that lives downstairs. i introduced myself to the double one day because i thought it was strange that we were talking and i didn't know his name. he went on to tell me he was elijah wood, then jesus, then prometheus, and then "dude." i shall just continue to refer to him as frodo. apparently korinne knew elijah wood's sister in 10th grade, and wishes we could meet each other someday. imagine that.

2003-03-12T22:05:00.000-05:00

maybe i want to take this weekend off so i can have some of my life back. i used to keep the things i enjoyed in my head so they would be special, my secret. recently i started sharing these with others, and now they are no longer mine (asian kewpie, etc). i guess i just should keep these things to myself again. i just liked some things better the way they were before. i'm so crabby today.

2003-03-11T23:49:00.000-05:00

my mom is great. you would think it might be weird IMing your mom, but not when she is kathie lindstrom. then, just when you think the fun has ended, and your family can't get any greater/funnier/weirder, your sister signs on:

Shoog007: you know what song i like a lot?
emurdr: what song?
Shoog007: in da club
Shoog007: its on right now
emurdr: that is so emily of you
Shoog007: me and my friend ben were going to rap wanksta for after school acting
Shoog007: but we didn't have time
Shoog007: so sad

i really should talk to my family more often.

2003-03-09T18:35:00.000-05:00

these past few days have definitely been missing something, something i don't like to miss.

2003-03-09T15:17:00.000-05:00

sundays, i am not up for listening to anything other than josh groban. he's so cheesy, but part of me loves it. i think it's because he reminds me of matt fenno. i wish i knew how to contact him.

2003-03-09T15:15:00.000-05:00

double batch of maple/brown sugar oatmeal...what a fat kid. these bowls can be washed or thrown out, but i think the oatmeal might be a little hard to wash out. sorry, mother earth. actually, now i just feel too bad and will rinse the bowl out when i'm done. funny how you can lay a guilt trip on yourself like that.

2003-03-08T19:34:00.000-05:00

would it be better if i played a game, made myself less available, less open to you? would you care more if i pretended not to?

2003-03-08T14:43:00.000-05:00

i enjoy waking up at noon, fully rested.
my friends are pretty darn great.
sometimes i just like to take a step back and look at how great things are.
we'll see how this weekend ends.

2003-03-07T16:46:00.000-05:00

i'm just not really sure how to feel right now.

2003-03-07T02:33:00.000-05:00

tonight was a night that was needed by many. i think we all had a great time bonding.
esther

2003-03-06T00:56:00.000-05:00

i guess it is.

2003-03-06T00:49:00.000-05:00

umm, is this not working??

2003-03-06T00:46:00.000-05:00

another blog... this one makes the most sense thusfar, and let me tell you why: the subprofile might screw up and then that blog would be lost. not really much else to say, except that today was a good day, and tonight should be a good night. another posting later.
another quiz:

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

esther